Nervous Breakdown

Every nervous breakdown are different but have some of the similar characteristics. There are things I remember and things that I don’t remember.  That is why it’s important to me that I have somebody in my corner to make life decisions when my mind is scatter-brained. It’s important when questions are asked you aren’t yelling at me because I don’t remember something simple. My brain is all over the place because I remember things but then the nurse or my aunt will ask me a question and I don’t remmber a whole conversation.  It’s like I wasn’t there and it’s because I go in and out of conscience.  It took me awhile before I accepted that and once I did I accepted part of my illness.

It took me awhile before I knew when I need to go to the hospital and not have my aunt make that decision for me.  I know when something in me clicks and I need to tell her or admit myself in the hospital. I’m glad that she taught me that while I was living with her so that now I am on my own I see the signs right before it is happening.

I’m past the point where I’m crying because I see the mouse running by the door and you don’t believe me.  The thing is nobody ever told me it wasn’t true.  I’m past the point where I do things that the voices tell me to do. I’m not freaking out because the doctor asked me what they said or if they are mean. It doesn’t bother me that too many traumatic things happened at once and changed me into this person.  I don’t bring it up in conversations or tell people when I meet them.  It’s a need to know basis.

Being in the psych unit of the hospital doesn’t bother me anymore. It doesn’t bother me that I have to be there for up to three weeks.  It’s part of my treatment and even though I don’t admit it some way it has helped me out or medications were changed. It doesn’t bother me when doctors write things when I talk because at the end of the day they are just doing their job to make me feel better.

Nervous breakdowns happen and is always going to be part of my life.  At the end of the day, I know who my real support system is and I know who is going to be there for me and who isn’t. I don’t go through emotions anymore of who isn’t going to be there or why they aren’t there or why they don’t understand.  God doesn’t have to explain why anymore and once I got past that everything seemed to fall into place.

Everybody has different stories so why don’t you share your story with me and for those that have questions please ask.

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