If I looked like what I been through you wouldn’t be able to recognize me. You probably wouldn’t want to have nothing to do with me or maybe you are the person who is continuously doing things to me. Even though these things intentionally disturb you the only thing that you can do is fight through it.
There was a time I was just a punching bag to someone. I was the female wearing the hats, dark sunglasses, turtlenecks, long shirts just to cover up the bruises. I was the female who was saying no I fell down the stairs and I was always making excuses to survive.
I was the female who came home and didn’t know what was going on or who to trust. Everybody seemed to have secrets and I was left out the loop. I became this scared and paranoid person who was on the edge of her seat jumping all over the place. It was like secretly being mistreated that I didn’t know what was worse being treated like a rag doll or the whispering insults that I was taking from family.
It got scarier by the moment because when you have complete strangers telling you to stop calling your family for anything and to confide in them you have nowhere to turn except for who is taking care of you.
If I looked like that person I would be some old lady with a body full of bruises and running at the sound of the slightest bit if noise. I’d still be running through the house beating myself on the head talking about turn it down the voices are too loud. I’d be the female who drained her body from taking bottles of pills to try to kill herself.
I became the person who took one day at a time and put her faith in God. He brought me through and now I know what I need to know to make it through each day. It hasn’t been easy it’s just been a process.
WEEPING MAY ENDURE FOR A NIGHT, BUT JOY COMES IN THE MORNING.-Psalm 30:5